最近都会觉得人真的很可怜。生死轮回来去不知几百、几千、甚至几万次了，还无法脱离。遇到大法了，或许也不懂得把握。纠缠不清的感情，执着着生不带来，死不带去的东西。人自称聪明，总爱为人生做出明智的决定、规划。 却怎么忘了为自己的生死做准备？来来又去去，都在那里转、转个不停。何时才能解脱，脱离生死，远离无明呢？

我自己，真是深感惭愧。


一 个 人 有 了 智 慧， 就 有 光 明； 有 了 光 明， 就 不 会 再 做 出 许 多 愚 痴 的 行 为 来， 没 有 愚 痴 罪 恶 的 行 为， 也 就 不 会 再 有 烦 恼 痛 苦。~http://www.humanbliss.com.sg

Labels: buddhism

school was alright today.. Day started off not too well because i woke up late! didn't help that my stomach wasn't well which delayed me further... argh. Sorry ke xin etc for being late! But!!! got MILO van!! whee~ drank one cup in a rush and took one for Ke xin all the way to the canteen! ((: we are milo gang leh how can don't take! wahahaha. sorry for being late!! ):

Anyways... Yea, finally bought an external harddisk (120GB) today.. ok lah.. just that i'm pretty irritated now because it says it supports MAC OS but they gave those mini CD which i can't insert into my com so gotta wait for my brother's lo.. )): Hope it works man if not i will kill (Ok not so violent lah) the person who says it's compatible with MAC OS !!!

Lecture was alright rather nice and entertaining for the Biophysical one.. For the RE Finance.. oh well, the content is interesting but i often switch to the zone out mode because... the lecturer is like very luo suo. hahaha.. And the best thing is, he had 53 slides.. while we were all wondering how he is ever going to cover his slides, he skipped like some few pages and asked us to read at home!! hahaha.. -_-! so lame lo.. those are very straight forward lah.. but still.. )):

Went to print readings and stuffs after lecture.. bought Bebe snack! hehe. to snack on the way home as usual.. hahaha.. argh. So fat lah! ): hms. I miss him! don't know why.. (': hehehe. silly me lah! (: Tmr going Joyce's house to do up Han's present. i think i better bring my laptop.. hahaha.. see how. if not just use my friendster photos lah..... too lazy. hehehe. oops. han hope u're not reading this lah.. lols. Yep, sat gonna K and then have dinner at a restaurant Han recommended! looking forward!! Prob i guess? (:

HOpe you're doing well dearies! (:

hms.. what can i say.. date didn't start off as well as i wanted it to be but yea, i guess everything turned out okays..

Slept at some 3am last night and woke up from a dream at 7.30am! So decided to get up and do something useful first.. Idled around and prepared to go out to meet J. (: Really felt upset cos i don't know why my mom had to get so pissed that i was going out. Hello, it's not like i go out everyday you know.. Can't i have the freedom to go out like occasionally? REally got me real upset.. that i was on the verge of crying out on the bus.. but i managed to keep them. Just can't understand why she's so against.. While my siblings can go out as and when and yea.. well i guess.. she probably guessed it right.. yes, i went out with him. Just don't understand why they have such a strong feeling against him.. I feel its really unfair.. to him, to me and for them as well.. Just hope things will turn out better in time to come..

but i don't dislike them, or hate them. Know they're my family.. maybe it's karma... just have to prove them.. about what i'm not sure.. probably to prove that i'll be happy and blessed, which MONEY can't buy..

Met at the place where we first met! hms. (: how sweet. gave him a big big hug and cried.. overwhelming feelings as well as those that i felt on the bus a while ago.. Didn't tell him cos i know how much effort he put in for today and didn't want to spoil his day.. But!! everything just felt so in place with him around today. (: The way he caught me when i fell, and paved the way for me along the busy streets, how he sheltered me to the bus stop in the storm. Independence is gd but sometimes, just feel so appreciated and pampered being able to be dependent on someone, special. ((:

Met Hengtin along the way and some familiar faces along the way.. B met desmond and his gf in dorothy perkins! so qiao! and after meeting them, met his 'da gu'. *alamak* But felt it was real sweet when b still held me tight when he saw them.. somehow.. just felt very touched. (: so thanks B for that. (:

Blur me took his extra phone back.. lols. Really really enjoyed today.. cos it's been a super long time since we get to spend practically a whole afternoon (plus a little bit of morning and evening?) together. hahaha.. And planned for it, and did so many things, and really really went out. Guess i'm really bad at putting things into words.. but yea, thanks so much for such a wonderful day..

Went home to find out that Laura's dad passed on.. Hm.. Life's really unpredictable.. so.. we must really learn to be prepared for death, anytime and anywhere.. That's very important.. Life's short, play hard, work hard, and most importantly, we must learn and practice cultivation..

Labels: family, Love

17th Jan..! Yet another 17th. (: Time flies i guess.. Special meanings imbued onto this special day of each month which can stir happy as well as sad feelings each time.. Well, yea it's just another day.. another school day! Finally had a more fulfilling day.. having 2 lectures.. and didn't have time for lunch.. Luckily mom made nutrimeal for me. ((: haha.. feel i'm getting fatter.. must try to drag myself outta the house for some workout man.. hai.. why isn't there a gym near my house!!! (ok ly, those are lame excuses, esp when ECP is just across the road).

lalalas~

no school tomorrow! like yIppEe! will try to make it a more productive day too! might bake cookies.. hee. see how things goes.. Maybe i should cycle to PP tomorrow too. Hm. Dearie suddenly has duty from fri to sun morning.. so too bad.. gotta wait for a couple more days before we can finally memet after so long.. (': jiayOu!!! Feel so slack.. must start reading up stuff already la LY!! work hard!!

oh gosh. was telling Ke Xin how fast time flies.. I was like planning modules to take for my last semester lah.. like oh man.. i'm just getting used to all these and starting to enjoy UNI life with all my great great fun-loving, humorous, entertaining...blah blah blah friends!! and i haven't drank enough from the Milo Van, haven't shopped enough at bazaars! haven't eaten enough at engin canteen! ah!! so many things not done yet!! *pouts*

argh.. how? UK ? i'll make sure i'll ship like milo and my NISSIN TOM YAM VEG cup noodles over lah!! ): boOhoO.

that's IF i ever go. (: sure to miss u guys so much.

ah!! my hair got qiao at the side!! hai.. ok i sound like a bimbo. but whatever!! i think it's because of my hair length as well..but as long as it's more manageable i'm glad!! ((:

going cycling later! yay! i'm tired! but can't be too lazy!

haha.. it's raining cats and dogs now. been lazing around at home since sunday.. not a bad thing afterall.. Sometimes slacking is relaxing.. i say sometimes.. because it can be so boring la!!!! Mom bought beehoon goreng for my lunch. Ok, it's not too bad.. but it is an amazingly big portion lo.. feeling fat. and i think i grew fatter!! )': Oh wells..

I can finally wash my hair today!! like yIppEe yaYy!!

Stephen asked if i was going this wk again.. I can.. but i doubt i will go down.. i feel like resting.. still very self-centred lo.. haha.. will see how things goes.. ((: Cos i think if veges are coming over for steamboat on sunday then i will have to go get the stuff at AMK.. maybe i will drop by.. (: see how lah hor. ((:

feeling sleepy.. i think i'm beginning to love my hair more now.. lols. crap. argh!!!

school's starting soon!! boOhoO. wonder why CORS won't let me bid my Minor modules lo.. crap. anyways... yea.. i'm gonna get them by hook or by crook!

wow! i'm so tired! don't know why i'm feeing so grumpy these days also. hai..

woke up at 9.30 t0day to do my hair! guess what? i went to rebond my hair!! hahaha.. ok, was quite a scary thought but it turned out rather well i guess. At least my hair is tamed now and not like... like... wavy, curly hair.. haha.. but i can't wash my hair for about 2 days lah... -_-! that's like a torture so i've decided not to get out of my house tmr.. hahaha.



how's this?
























Wanted to go ECP eat.. then saw neighbour and she brought us to this place that was supposed to be at the Jetty ( this restaurant that sells western food ) cos we thought it was interesting and decided to go take a look. But i wasn't really feeling well already.. probably tired and too hungry. hahaha. oh wells. and i decided to da bao home to eat cos it was too crowded by the time we walked to and back from that 'not-so-near-jetty' place.. we walked for almost like 40 minutes at least lo.. hais. now i'm too full. -_-

just thinking how much i actually mean to anyone sometimes.. i mean in life it's like that. No matter how important that person may be to you, one day, u might just forget his/her importance, his/her presence.. you might even find a person irksome, detestable... i'm not pin pointing anyone/anything but yea, just a thought..

well, sometimes, i admit i do have to feel appreciated.. can't think when was the last time we had a nice dinner date... can't remember the number of times i skipped dinner because of (...), the times u took the effort to bring me out.. maybe i'm asking for too much.. it's probably me again.. it's ok just ignore this.. i'm just.. blah-ing.

bah. i wonder if anyone is still reading my blog anyways.. hahaha. doesn't matter lah!

gonna turn in already.. nite folks.

Phew. It was definitely a long and tiring day for me!

Woke up late this morning cos it was so cold and cozy.. so i overslept! i pressed the alarm button cos it was downright irritating!! ahhaha.. Woke up only at 8.30 when i was supposed to meet stephen at the home at around 9.30 - 10am.. But i wasn't too late.. i reached the home at around 1030. So it was alright..

Adventurous LY brought stephen out after settling his DVD stuff, helping him do labeling and recording and stuff.. and we set off for AMK MRT station. i can't believe i pushed him out so far, so adventurous lo, thinking back now.. haha.. Anyway, i'm strong so that's lucky.. Ate at a food court at AMK Ave 10 and it was nice despite the hard hard meat from the Bah Kut Teh stall! $4.30 for so little meat and a bowl of rice! Inflation inflation.. but that's like too ex! (in my opinion) Met really nice people from the sliced fish mee/rice stall we sat in front of.. It's really nice to see such people around..

Anyway, so we went on to the MRT station. Guess what. The lift to Marina Bay side was under maintenance. It didn't help that there was the middle railway which we couldn't cross. -_-. So, we waited like some 7 minutes i think for the train to go YCK so we can cross the platform to be able to board the train going to Marina Bay. Luckily it wasn't that crowded.. There were nice people tho, compromising and even offering their seats to me but it was alright.. i couldn't sit anyway.. haha... Appreciated them all.. minus those stares from people.. oh ya! so coincidental! so pammie on the train.. i was still wondering if it was her till she turned her head.. haha..

Went Tampines Mall.. walked around got the stuff he wanted, took photos and had dinner before heading back to AMK.. Pushed him back too cos it was not raining.. Actually i suggested taking cab but he insisted it was better taking MRT cos it's much cheaper and i think he likes it too.. I thought we could use one card to scan but ya in the end got 'caught in the act' and i had to quickly go get him the card lo. But we used one card to get into the AMK station!! shh.. hahha.

Looking at stephen, i really felt sad for a moment.. he is such a strong person who has really the determination and will to do so much. He may be physically handicapped but he definitely does not allow himself to be mentally handicapped too. Yes.. i really feel so proud of him.. But i think he really aged alot.. Perhaps it's because i haven't seen him for quite some time, i think more than a year... and i can really see the difference.. But he is really a positive person.. i think it's really an asset, and something that i must learn from him... He is not educated, but he keeps himself abreast of the current issues, keeps himself updated to the latest news and etc.. definitely a strong fighter of life..

Talked to Naimin.. and yea, i think i really really enjoy what i do.. and i would go all out to fight for things i feel it's right.. I agree that not everybody can accept the things i do.. and not everyone can understand why i would go all out to do such things for them.. I know i only play a small part in their lives but i really wish to just bring them that little joy and good memory.. It's only when you start giving can you receive.. giving as in giving without expecting any returns in anyway.. be it emotional or materialistically...

Baby.. u know how i feel.. i just felt so hurt u actually said all those.. i just couldn't understand why you can't understand that i couldn't have been able to msg you while wheeling stephen.. it's so rare that we meet and i just wanna dedicate the time to him. I know you are worried... and perhaps it's my fault that i didn't secure you.. but i know stephen for some years now and have been out with him.. i know how he is like.. I'm sorry.. I really wanted you to accept what i was doing... Know u weren't feeling well and i'm sorry i wasn't there to comfort you.. You had your half day off.. but it was so sudden.. and i had already informed u of my schedule the day before.. baby.. if it was someone else i would probably have cancelled it.. but it's really so difficult to meet him.. he is so old already.. i'm just doing a little part you know.. i really wished you could accept what i was doing.. sorry dear.. i didn't know you would be so ill.. *hugs* sorry to make u so worried for me.. (': really wish we could work things out..

(i know u prob won't be reading this anyway... but if u ever do.. i really hope u could feel what i'm feeling dear)

then i went to JT for meeting - evaluating the event on 31st dec. Not too bad, rather productive and efficient though it took like 3 hours..Thanks to qiu rong laoshi and qiyou uncle for fetching me back! i'm really tired!!

take care dearies!

Just a little girl in this world, still learning, growing, and experiencing life..
Keeping that little promise and agreement..
trying to be stronger.. ( :

happiness
health
semi-big bag
golden necklace
little miss CLUMSY
more intelligence

forbeautifulwomen

.

photos
Mabel
LZ
Joyce Tan
Fabian
JK
Shaheeda