Hey all...

i'm in the APTS thingy. Each wk have to clock in 15 hrs. great..now perhaps i'll find my motivation to study.. But i have to say, i didn't quite like Mrs Woo's opening speech. The moment we went in to see her, she was like, " so how? do you all plan to study or what?" like hello, being in this scheme doesn't mean i didn't study lor..What do you know... Anyway i was initially bu shuang lah. But nvm.. Then right..she asked us to write her our proposed time table for studying lor..and asked when we could hand it to her..i said Monday..cos when we met her it was on a Thurs what..So like the next ideal day would be MOnday right..and she was like, " wah..need 3 days to draw up the timetable ah" wa lau..wat kind of attitude was that lor.. i mean it's kinda logical right.. Whatever.

Gd..i really hope i will feel damn motivated to study now. I'm beginning to lose hope..to give up on hope.. i don't know why..i'm damn tired.. mentally. Help...

I'm feeling terribly upset now. Because of many things. Maybe aggravated by PMS ba. sigh. why..why did things turn out like that? Ly..i'm so disappointed in you. I'm utterly disgusted by your actions lor..GQ..Gross. Ly..wish i could slap u in the face. Ly.. why were u so mei jue2 zhao4... ly..u're disgusting.

I'm such a coward. i don't even dare to face the issue bravely. I'm a coward. i am. i really am. I'm sorry. Really. I wish i could have the courage to say it..but i don't. I did wanted to care but i couldn't bring myself to do it. Ly..what have u turned into?

din join veg clan today. i now wish i could. but then agn. i could have spoiled the mood of everyone. i want to cry out loud now. i want a big hug now.i wish i could do that something..i wish.

i wish i had better brains.

maybe.. i should wish that i am never existant.

The outstanding Interactors of 2005! :)

 

Saturday:-

practically wasted my day away lah. Woke up at 10+, took a shower, then headed for school. Apparently, there was supposed to be a rehearsal at around 1130. But as expected..we waited for a many minutes before we had that one and only one rehearsal.Then, they got the outstanding interactors to pack food back for all. Like what lor..haha.. But it was quite fun though. Ordered some 26 packs of chicken rice..and then the uncle, upon hearing my order was so shocked..lol..gd biz lor..from me alr earn some 52 bucks. lol.. Ate dessert- yam with glutinous balls. Yummy..

When we got back, it was near 2..and the ceremony was starting soon. But everybody was so hungry that they couldn't care less.. just chiong and chop chop finish their food. Guest of honour was late..but at least he was courteous enough to say sorry and he sounds like a gd man. lol. HEng.. the installation ended relatively early..as in faster than i expected lor..Then i chiong-ed to the station to go to Bugis to meet my sis. go shop shop a while. :)

Then went to somewhere to fufil my spiritual needs. :) Oh, and i'm going help out at the toddlers/kids section next year..from April to June..lol..looking forward.. Aye..i'm so lookin forward to my after 'A's days. That horrible monster that deprived me so much. -_-

Well well, flunked my math test..but it's ok ly.. cos u didn't study mah.haha...jiayou people..

sian..my short days are gone. so are my xiao shi yi lang days. :(. Monday is the earliest..tue got econs remedial, eh? wed also early! ok i just realised..is that slow or what? Thurs are horrible. Bridge! till 1830 hrs. wOw. great. and Fri..is fine..but it's my usual time table's longest day though.. yawns. sigh.

It's already term 3 week 5. Ly..what have you done?

Sometimes, i look back in life and think.

Sometimes, i feel so sad for myself.

I get used by people, get treated as a tool, as a "my friends not free so i find you" friend. When time passes, they leave you behind too.

I get pissed. I get upset. But i get on with life. Cos they're not worthy to be my friends for treating me like dirt. Thanks anyway, cos you became part of my memory.

Today, i hugged my teddy bear for a very long time. I looked at it closely. I understood that it understands me and what i feel. It just sits there quietly, encouraging me and supporting me.

And i realised. He's my best friend. my loyal and ever encouraging and supporting friend. The best one could ever have.

:)

alright guys. really had a very bad day lor. irritating.

1. I forgot to bring my math file to send it for printing for my friend.
- before i left my house, i was thinking so hard about what i thought i forgot.

2. Supposed to have CCA today..actually supposed to have a rehearsal for this Sat's installation. But thanks huh.. i was like let off at 1215 and "happily" waited for CCA to start at 1430..and sat in patiently till 1530 when they said today we won't be having the rehearsal. Like what the hell. Time is damn precious lah. well, at least for me.

3. I was on my way home and decided to take a nap after reading the papers. And thanks to this bunch of Malay boys. prolly arnd my age or older who was seriously annoying. Firstly, cos during this time, there aren't many commuters, so i just left my bag on the right seat. Then on top, i placed my econs TYS (with a GP Compre kept in the first page. Then i put this first set of the papers that i have alr read through.
When i woke up, i realised that it was gone. And from the side, there was this guy that went, " excuse me, your papers" so i was innocently thought that my papers probably dropped down and they helped me pick it up. And how wrong was i man. He added, "They have some interesting articles in it" like duh~ just shuddup.
Then, they happily communicated in MAlay, thinking that i probably won't and don't understand, which is not totally true.. and they were talking about some summary or whatever..and what econs.. and best..they actually flipped through my book. Hello, do u guys understand what's privacy?
So when i woke up, it's my usual practice to check my phone, so i had a miss call from home and i called back. And that same childish bunch was like communicating in Malay again, but i sort of figured it out. They were like, "she must be pretending"..don't know for what, but they probably thought i was embarrassed or what..but my goodness whatever for? Perhaps they failed to see that i was utterly disgusted by their behaviour ya.
When i alighted, one of them said bye. So i reckon they thought it was cool? Well thanks for saying bye. But of course i woudln't reciprocate. Why would i open my mouth to speak to some one who stoop to such low class acts?
Just buzz off lah you parasites. Cheap thrills. And the next time you guys act, pls be smarter and be more high class lah. Understand what's privacy huh. And oh ya, another point to add, stop talking with that booming voices of yours' and think you sound damn big shot and damn cool with it. cos seriously, it doesn't. Just makes you guys sound like a bunch of low class brats. So pls take my suggestions seriously ya. Perhaps by then, your "thrills" will be worthy for me to appreciate it.

4. Then something dropped into the toilet bowl. Which wasn't too pure. Eew. Okay, i shouldn't elaborate on the details.

5. Washed my clothes, put them on hangers before bringing out to the balcony to hang. Damn. Clearing space by removing 2 of my shirts and accidentally hooked onto my sister's shirt and fell to the balcony floor which wasn't too clean either cos there's some construction work going on at the opposite unit. *pissed.


Great man. Great. Zhe xie dou shi ying yuan ba.

*******************
We're back to the same point.

Sometimes, you look at a person and you feel that you want to be better friends with him/her.


Sometimes, you feel close to a person, but to him/her the feeling is not even close to mutual.


Sometimes, you're in an event where you have to live with a group of people over a period of time, and you'll want to be the noisy, proactive one who goes around livening everything up. you make a total fool of urself and you try to crack hilarious jokes, act stupid and put up momentary happiness for your group. but at the end of the day, everyone else gets bonded, except you.


Sometimes, people do things like hang out together, and they leave you out. and they say they forgot. but "forgetting" shows how much you really mean to them.


Sometimes people say "hey are you alright, why're u looking so sad", but the next moment they're off having fun, probably forgetting the fact that you're unhappy.


Sometimes, you see a friend in need of something, but you just don't know what. and when you attempt to give him something, you get it all wrong. and your friendship blows, leaving you feeling all stupid.


Sometimes, you think that you have a very wide circle of friends, but ultimately, people see you as nothing more than an entertainer. a second choice. or maybe a last resort.


Sometimes, you yearn for friends who trust you with their innermost secrets, but because of your outgoing, noisy nature, people don't see the trustworthy side of you, and you really become a full time entertainer. a second choice. or maybe a last resort.


Sometimes when you feel tired of talking, and you keep quiet, people realise there's something wrong with you and they go "eh how come so quiet" because the "entertainer" in them has gone all quiet and they're not used to it. that's probably cos you're supposed to be the full time entertainer. a second choice. or maybe a last resort.


Sometimes, a message from a friend brightens your day up, but the next moment you realise that he didnt really mean it cos he forwarded it for the sake of forwarding it.


Sometimes you talk alot to make people laugh, out of the best of intentions. but when it gets slightly overboard, people see you as the main culprit.


Sometimes, you just feel that something like "friendship" is never real, but rather always superficial. because friends do not always respond to your calls and requests as spontaneously as ur mother or father or sister would.


Sometimes you wanna say something very very much, but you just cannot because you know that not saying it would leave the situation or person involved in a position much better off.


Sometimes, you want to hide in the room and cry out loud, but when the room door is locked up and you're all ready to cry, you just feel this sickening sensation that sends you hanging in between crying and not crying.


Sometimes you just know that people are better off with others instead of you, and you feel painfully upset about that. but you never want to do anything cos you just feel inferior.


Sometimes the pain becomes so unbearable...and you wanna call for help. But what recurs in ur thoughts is "Who will care?...", and you scroll down ur phone book aimlessly, meaninglessly.

taken from mun's blog.. so true..esp the last one..

hey all..

had a rather bad Saturday. Sorry to Cai Qing ah..that it had to end that way.. haha.. It's all over now.. but in short, i just don't need anyone else to remind me that i'm not bright. Never..Never ever doubt me about some things which i won't disclose. It just pisses me off. A lot. Here i am trying hard and u think i'm havin a good time out there.. u nuts or something.. Maybe u just said it in a fit of anger..but to me, it hurts a lot..and it reflects greatly what u actually think of me. Thanks man. But i don't need that.

Ironically, my Sat was a day that was well utilised. so yea.. er..should i say blessing in disguise? Hurhur..

Friday.. had a great time with veg. Went back to my secondary school..walking that old route, with old friends..felt very nostalgic then..time and tide waits for no man..Haha..Cos actually joyce got the msg that got some Alumni gatherin or what back in AHS..then we went over..and realised...we were supposed to help out in the drawing of flags for the coming 49th Anniversary celebration..haha..but had fun anyway..saw some juniors..and they were complementing us..like saying that we're damn efficient..of course lah..they were like slacking and like talking and thinking too hard..Hey hey..we aren't seniors for nothing k..we are the efficient seniors! lol..k that sounds lame. But nonetheless, we had some fun doin it and i'm glad i went back..Poor Mrs Lim..Forever being so workaholic and slogging her hearts out for everything..by herself. Don't worry..i will try to help as much after the A's for next yr's 50th anniversary k! :)

Left at like 10.40pm or something..den yes! went for our prata and milo dinosaur treat..yummy. at our usual fav. store..miss the feeling man.. the good ol' days.. :) it's always very relaxing to meet up with u guys man veg.. great way to de stress. :) luv ya guys!

Today's sunday and i've practically been slacking the whole day le..nvm..later at night then do something constructive..er..like eating and bathing maybe..Oops.. haha.. till then..take care guys..!
oh shit..i forgot that i haven't let my mom see my results. die. nvm..jiayou ly.

mab:take care of ur throat!

hey guys.

After so long, i think i'm gonna be sick soon. Feeling all tired and weak this entire week. My apologies to Mrs Ong for sleeping in her lectures though.. sometimes, it's not that a student sleeps only if the teacher is boring or we don't understand the work.. so..don't jump to conclusions. Really ain't in my best form. :)

Thanks to all who nominated me for the Outstanding Interactor Award. THough i ask for no return when giving my services to the needy, but it's really an honour to recieve it. A pleasant surprise! It encourages me further that i'm a useful person and i can excel in what i wish to excel in with perserverance and determination.

Ah yes, i'm a determined person. I think so too. Too many things that has happened to me in life has moulded me to become the unique individual that i am. The one who perserveres, the one remaining undeterred though i do get upset over some setbacks. So ly..keep the flame burning. c'mon. be strong. It's the last lap.

Tiring day actually. Didn't really feel well since like Tuesday..Then today i promised Stephen i will go down..cos initially i thought interact would be going down for service..in the end, they had some discussions about the installation coming next Sat..so..really wanna thank Cai Qing for accompanying me there. :)

Then, waited like 30 mins for that bus no. 76 can. what only lor! it was damn long lah..seriously got on my nerves.

Get well soon, ly.

Hi guys i'm back..

Well, just a little update on my life lor.
Mid years are gone..but the stress is still there. The pressure to work towards my goal is still present.
Mid years is screwed. like really. sigh. i'm so dead... but i've been trying hard to convince me to not be affected by the mid years and to look at the big picture, and work hard towards my prelims and 'A's..seriously speaking, i really need someone to tell me how i can ever make it for the A's.. I just hope that the school standard's high lah..Okay, i sound like i'm living in self denial now.. oh well.. sometimes a lil of that is good..ain't it?

Recently, i've been thinking a lot..like reflecting on my life. Time and tide really waits for no man. There have been zealion of stuff that i would have done if i could turn back the time. Not that i have like some major regrets over decisions or whatever, but it's just that i could have lead a more fufilling life. Anyway, it's really no point harping on the past..i guess all those will serve as a reminder to live life to the fullest..as well as a sort of motivation to me... :)

I'm so dead for mid yrs.. so dead. from ** date, i'm gonna work real hard. as the saying goes, 'qing neng bu zhuo'. i hope it really works now.. :)

 

haha was trying to tie my hair up and this is how i look like..lol..farnie..my hair grew!

Met up with clique on Friday. Thanks to joyce i now know of a place that sells relatively nice Indian food! It's at the old pao pao cha shop at TM. :) haha.
ANNOUNCEMENT!: VEGE HAS ANOTHER CLIQUE ITEM. but it's kinda exclusive. ermm.we understand why. It's nice anyway..

Today's Monday le hor. ya..after 12... after tuition, chiong-ed back home and then went out to meet Fab. ya. the rich kid is gonna fly tonight. all the best man and take gd care ya! :)

Then after that went to buy some stuff..including a kipling wallet! it's nice lah. but feelin a bit xin tong. must save up le. :( and i have yet to get my polo shirts!and a pair of slippers. will add up to a lot lor think footwear will probably get it someother time lah. haha. aye.

doin GP now. die. must pia le. and my econs mcq comin up. die. hopefully i can handle it. tmr is a pia day. or rather today. so gtg le.. must concentrate! haha.

oh no,i'm feeling tired... and my back hurts.

You are 73% Libra

hey guys! i'm back from my trip to M'sia.
Can't say it's the best i ever had, but it's really not bad lah.. had fun..it took me away from my studies and stress etc. lol! haven't travelled like this with my family for a while already..hee.

Took a coach up. It wasn't that bad lah..But it was freezing cold when i reached there at 4 a.m.. Now i'm feeling super hot while typing this. I miss the weather~~~ haha..

Went outdoor theme park with bro and sis..played indoors too..walked around etc..and ya!! watched Initial D for 10Ringgit. Cheap lor. Cinema was nt that bad either..lol. so shuai! the show's nice lor..woah..car racing..

Toyota AE 86. Mt Akina. Takumi! ah!!!!

haha..kee siao already. haha.

Hm..drivers lead a hard life lor..live and sleep and work on the same bus. only get to go home like 2-3 months once.. poor thing. not much benefit either. not much savings..earn just enough to get by.. :(

but life's like that. always try to live with optimism. ;)

i'll try. :)

er..sian. tmr got tuition.haha!

Just a little girl in this world, still learning, growing, and experiencing life..
Keeping that little promise and agreement..
trying to be stronger.. ( :

happiness
health
semi-big bag
golden necklace
little miss CLUMSY
more intelligence

forbeautifulwomen

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photos
Mabel
LZ
Joyce Tan
Fabian
JK
Shaheeda